Buried

Before you read this I’d recommend you watch the film because I’m about to spoil it below:

In 2011 I wondered if my friends and I had it in us to make a film. Now we’ve made 3 while also having a large ensemble cast web series being scheduled to shoot in 2015. Stay tuned for updates on our Facebook page.

Making movies with my friends is the favorite thing I’ve ever done. Last night one of those good friends asked me how I get all of these insanely talented people to help me every time. I told her I have to trick them into it, which is half true. When you are writing and directing, the first step outside of yourself is convincing people that the thing you want to make is going to be good even when you aren’t 100% sure of that fact. But they keep saying yes. So. That’s incredibly nice of them.

Buried was created around a table of friends at my apartment in 2013. The premise was that a guy accidentally kills his best friend’s girlfriend who no one likes and then decides that if he can convince his best friend to murder his girlfriend before he finds out that she was already dead, he’d be off the hook for the accidental death he caused. Or at the very least, he’d have some help with the situation from a sympathetic party.

It’s a super weird premise that just made me keep laughing and laughing. Just a guy grasping at strings in the most intense moment of his entire life trying to convince another dude to kill a girl who’s already dead. That is my sense of humor in a nut shell.

When it comes to the actual film itself, I as the director ask the audience to go along with a premise that is all or nothing. Whether or not the audience ends up jumping on board is still to be seen, BUT even if they don’t there are a few things in this film that I think will be for everybody.

First off there are shots in Buried that are crazily pretty. Dylan (my EP, Editor, and Cinematographer) came in to the shoot day after a few brief conversations about the shot list and with a whole lot of jet lag as he had just gotten back from a month in Asia. I’m telling you that because the sequence where Marc is doing the actual burying has a shot while the sun was going down that is so freakin’ gorgeous I want to cry and Dylan was sprawled out in the mud to capture it while somehow not falling asleep.

Dylan, as my Cinematographer, is there to add his sense of aesthetic to my shot list. So basically, he’s there to make me better than I am. While operating within that framework he consistently goes above and beyond and the camera work in this film proves that. As for our second camera run by Adam Carner, I use him as a wild card. I don’t give him a shot list. I tell him to find a cool shot and go with it. The side shot of Marc kicking the corpse prior to dumping it in the hole is all Adam. Every time he works with me he does something I’d never think of by myself. You need people like that if you want to make something cooler than you could ever make alone.

The second thing I wanted to highlight from this film is the music; particularly the music during the burying sequence. The way we at BFF pick music is a long and tedious exercise that our music supervisor, JR, performs beautifully. Every year South by South West (SXSW) releases about 6 gigs of free music for the purpose of filmmakers using it in their films royalty free. It’s an amazing service that has helped us immensely on all 3 of the films we’ve made. It’s JR’s job to get an insane scene note from me like, “I want the song in this burying sequence to be ominous but in a weird and quirky upbeat manner” and then subsequently make sense of it.

Then after he does that impossible task, he listens to all 6 gigs of the music (51 hours of songs for those of you wondering) and makes a ranked list of his choices that I, with the help of him and the EPs, use to pick the song. The song in the burying sequence, in my mind, is perfection and I hope you guys like it too. And even if you don’t, it makes me all warm and fuzzy every time it comes on and that’s all I could ever ask for.

Before I go I will add that this film is better because my other EP Abigail, who is my script editor as well, killed it on every note she made during this entire process. Add to that the three actors in this film whom all had multiple jobs within the process when acting is hard enough all came to play on the day of the shoot (of which we only had one) and laid down solid takes that made picking only one tough to do the entire time editing this film. I’m almost bored when it comes to talking about how good Marc is because it’s just the truth and, hell, Steph had to hold herself above the ground and then let go so her face slammed into it 3 times in a row for this film and didn’t question it once. (All in the gag reel btw) That’s insane. Friendship is insanity.

This film marks the first time I didn’t act let alone play the lead in something we’ve made which allowed for a few things. One is that I had to put all of my trust into the actors to say my words the way they are on the page while simultaneously infusing them with a very real weight and personality to which I was not disappointed. The second opportunity it allowed for was to be ingrained in every single step that occurred from the concept to the final cut. Ian and the Bishop and Zer0s are movies that I adore because for me they tell so many stories both personally and artistically but this film is the first one that is in my voice entirely.

Artists talk about searching for their voice all the time. Finding a way to make a product that genuinely describes an artistic moment in their life. If nothing else Buried will be a perfect reminder or who I was when I was 27, how reliable and talented my friends were, how supportive my family was, and how I have a deep love for the place where I grew up for both making me this person and being a beautiful setting for all 3 films we’ve made so far.

If you have any questions about Buried or anything else let me know. I could talk forever about these films. I like them a lot. If not just enjoy this gag reel of my friends being silly little geese and I’ll cya in 2015 for our upcoming comedy webseries. K cool.

Once Upon That One Time – Chapter 1

My name is Ryan, I’m 50 years ahead in time of whenever you are right now, and shit has — Just. Gotten. Real.

I know, that’s confusing, and I don’t care. Listen, I don’t have a lot of time. Only like, the next few hours, and then all hell is gonna break loose. Before that happens I’m writing everything that has happened in this past year to me, my friends, and the race we still call human beings. That hasn’t changed. A bunch of stuff has changed, but we still get called that, so there’s at least one win for us. Chock that shit up to the score board, ass holes.

49 years from where you are right now is pretty much the same. It has cars that don’t fly and run on crude oil, it has solar panels that no one uses except for like 3 people and they’re always so uppity about it, and the President of the United States is a white dude and has been since that one time that other thing happened. Then it all went haywire. Because white people are the worst. In case it all goes badly I’m going to write down everything that’s happened as quickly as I can and then put this letter into the time capsule code named “Plot Device” that can very actually go back in time and warn everyone what this planet has become – which is full of ass holes.

See, it all started when this science lab where scientists were paid to do science did something other than science. They might of accidentally sort of started a chain of events that ended in all of the remaining animals on the earth to evolve into genetically enhanced versions of themselves that you could tame if you had the balls. After that, the rest of the animals (who were not already paired up with a human being) were killed off or went to the woods or something, point is they are gone. Now the only human beings and animals left on this earth have their friends and each other. Some notes that are important to the story and that I won’t explain because there isn’t time and also fuck you is that some of these animals can talk, and some can’t. The ones who can’t talk aren’t called dumb to their faces cause that’s just mean but…they are. Sometimes that matches up with the human riding them, sometimes it doesn’t. Whatever blah blah so on and so forth.

Other important things include that there are about 1000 people left alive on earth, the sun is getting hotter each and every day, Pangaea is a thing again so the land is just all mushed together, and there is an ongoing war between the two factions called The Colony and The Disciples Inside the Calamity Kingdoms. I didn’t choose those names, someone else did. Also there are The Outlaws who aren’t really a faction, they are just people who don’t give a shit and are on their own side. That’s where my friends and I come in.

We are the leaders of The Outlaws. Pretty sweet, right? Yeah, I know it totally is.

Are job is to fuck shit up. For everyone. All the time. No matter who is doing what, we fuck it up. We figure the sun will roast us alive, the seas will swallow us whole, or everyone will end up getting stabbed in the face – so we might as well have some fun before any of that happens.

Before I go on with all that has happened in the past year I have to tell you about my crew. I can’t just start using names and telling stories without you knowing some background on these people. First off there is no leader, there are alphas and betas but we all decide what to do together. We aren’t some group of douche bags with one biggest douche bag who thinks they know best. No one knows best. People who think they know best is what got this planet into the situation in the first place. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’ll tell you bout my peeps.

There’s Abby and Mike who are married to each other. Abby, the cunning and the bold, rides Sepharoph (Seph for short) who is the king of the eagles. Mike, the logic and the balance, rides Jasper, the aging moose who is as wise as the amount of years he’s been alive grant him to be. Elliot, the wildcard, rides the Emperor Penguin Duo Koo and Stew who are strapped to his feet and make ice with their belly’s so he can slide around everywhere. Koo and Stew and stronger than most penguins and don’t like each other or change or learn lessons. There’s also Pat, who is on a brown bear that hasn’t changed at all.

Stephanie and JR are here too, they are engaged to be married on a mountain. Steph, the no bullshit go-getter and JR the deceptively kind ninja scientist ride on an albino Jaguar named Bertram and an Elephant the size of a house named Flounder, respectively. Marc, the hungry and bearded, rides a Rhino named Carl with steel for a horn that Marc forged himself in an erupting volcano. As for me, I’m on my trusty flying polar bear named Ralph who shoots acid out of every hole he has in his body. (that includes his butt)

Adam is on an iguana. GBaby is on an Emu. Kate walks. Also there are others who I will get too later as their story wouldn’t make sense yet.

So all of us are in the outpost like a year ago and then some shit got to shakin’, and I mean shaking bad. The earth basically had a fuckin’ heart attacked and changed all of its shit up. The Chancellor, the dick head leader of The Disciples, built a gravity device that brought all of the continents together again because, and I’m quoting Mr. Chancellor here, “Who needs friends when you made the continents friends once more.” Sad as shit, I know.

As all of this is going on my friends and I are all sitting around, probably intoxicated, and being all like, “woah what’s going on?” Then we found out everyone was going nuts and dying and we said to ourselves, “let’s ride our animal friends into the night and see what’s to do.” So we all jumped aboard our animal friends except for Kate because she walks and went to the biggest building we could find immediately which was a liquor store that was made to look like the Lincoln Memorial. Inside we see the guy standing behind the register who is set atop a big fucking lion.

“Whatchu doin’ fools?” said the guy with the big fucking lion. Then we proceeded to explain to him what was happening outside and he was like “we should drink” to which we were all like “yeah that makes sense.” So we all start getting fucking wasted and next thing you know we sleep through the next few weeks and wake up, only to go outside and see a barren wasteland with nothing left standing as far as the human eyes can see. Seph, Abigail’s eagle friend, flew into the sky and told us that she could see something so we all hopped aboard our animals and headed off once more.

Except Kate. She got stabbed by that Lion.

10 YouTube Videos Everyone Should See

These are YouTube videos you may or may not have seen. Obviously the list is completely subjective, but I tried to make it so that it encompassed enough aspects of the YouTubes that you’d like at least one video.

I’m on YouTube more than most. YouTube and marathoning Netflix shows is my version of reading…plus sometimes, I actually read. I know…I’m insane.

There are many levels of YouTube depth. Ranging from: you watch Gangnam Style every now and again, to actually being subscribed to content creators and regularly following their posting schedules. I do the second one. Plus sometimes the first one. So, here are ten videos I want everyone to see. This can also be used as a test to see how much you’re on YouTube. If you get 10/10 that means way too much (like me) and if it’s 0/10 it means, get with the times brah. 

Honorable Mention is Adam and I just cause:

I might do a sequel to this post in the future because narrowing this down was incredibly difficult. There are weird drum covers and epic rap battles I didn’t even get to show you….Oh well. And if you are really desperate to fall deeper into the YouTube depths go check THIS out and we’ll all see you in a few weeks.

Staying In – the new song I wrote!

The first single off the new Jolly Good (The Comedy Rap Duo I’m in for funsies with Adam Carner) full length album is here! We’ve been working and perfecting this song for a while now and I’m extremely excited for people to finally be able to listen to it. Its premise is simple: Sometimes you just don’t want to go out on the weekends, and Staying In every once and a while can be straight up magical.

If you like the song you can download it on soundcloud for free and if you want to hear our last EP you can go here and download that for free as well. Below are the lyrics if you’re interested in following along – have a good day 🙂

Staying In by Jolly Good
Red = Adam, Purple = Ryan, Bold = Both, Pink = Elliot’s spot on girl impression

“Heyyyy man, you wanna go out tonight?”
“Nah, I’d much rather stay in”

Stayin’ home instead of going out
This is what adulthood is all about

“But it’s the weekend, gotta party it up!”
You should ask my sweat pants if they give a fuck
All up in my Kitchen, gonna cook up a storm
If you think I can’t go hard than you’re misinformed
Epic Meal time is every time I eat
If I’m not watching my carbs or intake of red meats
But I’m by myself with no one to judge
So I’m gonna fill this cake with molten lava fudge
Then I D to the Rizzle caramel galore
On these double stuffed Oreos for my mouth to explore
Turn back to the blender, gonna mix some shit
Let’s see how rum tastes with these bacon bits
No shame in drinking when you’re by yourself
If you don’t get caught then you don’t need help!

Chorus
I’m Staying in Tonight
So don’t put up a fight
I’m chillin’ Home Alone
Don’t bother blowin’ up my phone
I’m Staying in Tonight
Relaxing is in sight
Ohhhh ohhh oh ohhh
I’m Staying In

Lay down on the couch All Cozy now
I turn my Netflix on while I eat my chow
But before I pick the night’s rad viewing pleasure
I Wiki random info at my leisure
With the outside getting darker yet
I try video games as another safe bet
This online fame is callin’ my name
Til a kid calls me a fag then I quit the game
Make some popcorn but I don’t need a bowl
Eating out of the bag cause I’m out of control
Create a new tiny world with Legos and pets
My Hamster balls so hard, don’t you ever forget

Chorus

What can I say to get you to come out?

Wanna head to the bar?
I’m Stayin’ in
Set fire to my yard?
I’m Stayin’ in
Roll face at the club?
I’m Stayin’ in
Find your one true love?
I’m Stayin’ in

Ohhh oh oh oh ohhhh (Adam harmonizing with himself like a boss)
X2
I’m Stayin in
Chorus
X2

I’m Stayin In
Walk naked round the house while there’s no one home
This kind of freedom only comes when you party alone
Instead of dance offs where I’m dropping it low
I stand tall at the window for my one man show
I’m Stayin In
Going to sleep, get a solid 8, but not before I procrasturbate
As my lights go out I and my slumber begins I’m just so happy that I said

I’m Stayin in – I’m Stayin in I’m Stayin in

Jolly Good Show

When I’m not full time jobbing or writing- my other hobby is being a hardcore rapper….or more accurately writing and producing rap songs with my friends that are recorded in a closest that we call our “studio.” It’s a combination of talents to create sounds. I write the lyrics and rap as well as I possibly can, my friend Adam records, masters, raps, and sings, – and the rest of my friends patiently listen to tell me if it’s good or not. On this new song we put another one of our friends, Elliot “Steezy Neezy” Smith on the track because like all white people, rapping is a secret guilty pleasure hobby he desperately wanted to try.

This new song is called “The Floor is Lava.” There are a bunch of references to a bunch of things that aren’t all that important – but I like writing them anyway. Also, I’ve always wanted to rap about The Busy World of Richard Scarry. Take a listen and download (for free) if you like it! And if you so happen to show it to like, one million friends, I wouldn’t be totally against it. Lyrics are below.

CHORUS
(Shout) Jolly Good show!
If you see us on the streets we got no money to blow
We’re going old school, that’s all we can afford
We’re dropping A major cause We’re striking a chord (Come On)

We don’t have a plan
If we did you’d see us strutting
With that money in hand

I think we hit our stride, pick up your feet, got nothin’ to fear
Let’s pretend the floor is lava, and dance til it is crystal clear

Verse 1: RYAN
I’m an addict for the dramatics; I confuse your use for love
But with this world as my witness, I think I can rise above
You see I have this certain swagger, not the normal kind of course
Yeah my friends they call me Old Spice, Look he’s riding on a horse

I can run four minute miles, Take an eagle in a fight
I’m so fly I can’t be wrong because I’m always Orville Wright
This is a sticky situation; we need to mediate this quickly
Write to PO box 963 with Attention to Mr. Stickly

They call my dick skittles, biddies tasting on my rainbow
Tend to be in high demand like labor at home depot
If you think that I’m self centered, just take a step back
And know that I am lying about everything on this track

You see, that’s what raps are, just a cavalcade of lies
If I rapped what I really thought, It’d be sweet potato fries

So let’s pretend for a moment
That my monies making money
Wearing dollar green vests
Hit The Beets like Doug Funnie!

2nd CHORUS /w
I think we hit our stride, pick up your feet, got nothin’ to lose
Let’s pretend the floor is lava, and dance til we run out of booze

Verse 2: ELLIOT
New 20 inch rims on all 4 sides
I choose my car over food but ramen will be fine
If my game were horses mine would have to be glue
And if my name were style, I’d lose myself to blue’s clues

If your dick is skittles mines the everlasting gob stopper
Willy wonka want my recipe, V. Salt wants me to Pop her

In my nature to spend money, call my wallet kill bills
If Travolta tries to stab me he’ll meet my Royale with chi grill

Rackin drinks at the bar yeah I never go wrong,
Rum and cokes so instrumental better call em’ my song

When Sunday morning comes around, man you know it’s fam break
Always hittin up the coffee break where they know to split the check
Leave Kate in the dust at the end of our meals
Stab her in the face for tix to deal or no deal (Don’t cha know!)

Team Big pretties represent as I start to transfix
But listen I’ll hafta to call ya back once I finish Netflix (BITCH)

Original CHORUS

Verse 3: ADAM

Might not be poppin’ bottles
But I’m poppin’ now in your chest
You can call me Gravedigger
From the way I’m alive but bury the rest

I don’t go HAM, I go turkey
Breakin’ each and every leg
And if I ever need a wish
I’ll dig up all those bones I save

Yeah you can tell I’m magic
In my busy world of Richard Scarry
Just got the master key at Gringotts
“You’re a Fuckin’ Wizard Harry!”

So here we are with these ambitions
Hitting the tracks of life full force
Plus I’ll be down for making babies
When I get pushed off my high horse

But in truth you’re more than objects cause our mommas raised us right
But if you want a sketchy STD I won’t put up that fight
Cause I’m worth it and I know it that’s why I won’t let you get me down
The best offense is a good defense and I’m going hard downtown

You look encumbered
Hate is baggage
Empty your pockets
That looks average
Maybe you should fly you fools
To ensure your fellowships safe passage

At my house party
CT Lovin’
Drinks are flowing
Subs Wub-Wubbin’
Get your feet up off this floor
It’s this fire that we are lovin’!

2nd CHORUS

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