I’m always looking for products and entertainment that will make my life more awesome, because without new stuff how will I know if my old stuff sucks or not? Exactly, I won’t.
I am by no means qualified to review products but I don’t actually believe anyone is so screw it; I’ll throw myself into the ring and see how it goes. I’ll try to pick things I don’t think most people have and or have seen/owned, and if it so happens you have already graced these objects or products with your presence or even worse, you hate them, then I don’t care and shut your face.
Movie: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
It didn’t do well in the box office and it has a generally annoying star (Michael Cera) but the director (Edgar Wright who also directed Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) is balls to the wall good at his job. I bought this blu-ray 30 minutes into watching someone else’s blu-ray instead of illegally downloading it so…yeah…pretty big stuff.
TV Show: Sherlock (BBC)
CBS recently premiered a show called Elementary based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s stories about the detective Sherlock Holmes. I watched it. It was okay. You know what’s not okay because it’s some of the greatest writing and acting to ever be put into the television format? The same god damn show that the BBC premiered in 2010.
Benedict Cumberbatch has the best name ever and plays Sherlock, an on and off addict and full time sociopath who solves the shit out of mysteries using deductive reasoning while his mistakenly homo life partner Dr. John Watson played by Martin Freeman gets dragged around and is charming in a best sidekick ever sort of way.
Also did I mention Martin Freeman is going to be fuckin’ Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit and Benedict Cumberbatch is slated to be both Kahn in the new Star Trek and Smaug in The Hobbit? I didn’t until right now? Crazy…SEE THIS SHOW
Food: Bacon and Meatloaf Wrap
If you’re a vegetarian I respect your decision but that sucks because this wrap is awesome. I’m not going to get into measurements because the only true way to measure during the food making process if with your eyes and your mouth. Also sometimes teaspoons.
For this wrap you’ll need:
Smoked Bacon – cooked crispy and ground up into small pieces
Meatloaf – cook in bacon grease if possible; sooo good. You can also add stuff like onions, garlic, oregano, 3 tablespoons of extra prude olive oil, and black pepper
Cheddar Cheese– Melt that shit on top of the meatloaf
Russian Dressing– Oh my gawww soooo gooood. Basically it’s Mayo, Ketchup, and throw some horseradish, chives, and other shit in there. Or just buy it from the store like a normal human being. Thousand Island dressing is a decent backup in a pinch but just know that using it is total failure and you should reevaluate your poor life choices.
Caramelized Onions – Possibly the greatest invention since forever everything, read about making the tummy equivalent of striking oil here
Apple/Android Game: The Simpsons Tapped Out
So okay, The Simpsons tricked me into playing Farmville, but this game got me through Super Nintendo Storm Sandy so I owe it an everlasting debt of gratitude.
Youtube Channels: Daily Grace, Mike Falzone, and VSauce
For this I broke it into 2 categories which are comedy and learning shit. For Comedy check out Daily Grace and Mike Falzone and for accidental learning check out VSauce.
Grace, as her vlogs name suggests, makes a video every weekday and she is a lady who is just awkward enough to laugh with and not so awkward that you feel as though you should call the cops.
Mike Falzone is from the state I’m from and gives great advice that I wish I had said first.
VSauce tricks you into learning things and the guy who narrates the videos has the voice of a sex angel if you are into dudes who have cool voices.
Website: Rainy Mood
Have you ever thought the insanely generic thought, “Gosh I love thunder storms.” Well then you’re in luck! This website is a 20 minute loop of a fantastic rain and thunder track that you can play at different volumes! Ambient noise, guys! This is some highbrow shit!
If you want to take the experience from epic to super epic go to the bottom of the page and click the song choice that changes every time you visit the site. Personally I refresh the page until Bon Iver – Perth comes up but you can do whatever floats your metaphorical boat.
There’s no way I wasn’t going to plug my own book. It’s sort of the entire point of this blog.
Music: Agnes Obel
Welcome to most relaxing shit of all time playa. This lady is straight outta Copenhagen, like a true Danish gangster. She plays piano and has a voice that could easily be put over every Indie movie you’ve ever seen. I highly recommend her for your ears. Also if you wanna get your funk in medium amounts of motion, check out the remix of her song Riverside.
So that’s it for my recommendations for now. If you guys liked it I’ll do it again, if you hate it we will never speak of it and it will hang an eerie awkwardness over our internet relationships for pretty much infinity. Sound good?