Girl Posts

There is a twitter account I stumbled upon last night called Girl Posts (Facts About Girls!) that spouts off ignorant bull shit and is also incredibly popular. Funny how those two things go together so often.

Anyways, after reading a few of the tweets I could no longer help myself. The account has 1.7 million followers so whoever runs it will probably never see my retorts, but it makes me feel better to know that the one or two retweets I get agree with me: if you follow these tweets advice, you are heading down the path of being loveless succubus who hates yourself almost as much as you hate others.





The Art of Rejection

Practice makes perfect. That’s a line you’ll hear often to describe a wide assortment of activities in your life. What people don’t say though, is that practice can happen against your will. All practice means is getting better at something through repetitiveness – so if you do something often enough, or if something happens to you often enough, you will inevitably get better at said thing. That’s why you can become a master artist when it comes to rejection.

Being rejected sucks. Whether it be by a job you really wanted or a person you would enjoy dating, rejection is a feeling that lingers and gnaws. For me personally, I try to look on the bright side of being rejected because let’s be honest, if you don’t start looking on the bright side of a soul sucking activity that happens to you often, you won’t be around for very much longer.

A thought I try to keep close to me is that you can’t be rejected unless you try, and you can’t try without at least a tiny bit of courage, and that courage is at the very least something to take solace in when you are listing to “Love is a Battlefield” on repeat in your bed.

At least you had the guts to do something. Granted rejection now presents itself like a movie you’ve seen a million times before, but god dammit you pressed play.

I tend to use the same mantra every time this happens to me. I allow myself to be upset for 12 conscious hours. No more, no less. It’s just enough time for me to feel like the world is falling apart and then subsequently pick the world off the ground and put it back on my shoulders where it belongs. Then, once the world is securely fastened, I remember that I’m awesome.

Every time someone says no, I make myself a better person. Every time the world kicks me in the crotch, both literally and figuratively, I find a way to be a more well rounded and driven individual. Every time I get my hopes up that this time will be different only to be crushed by a reality boot, I remember that no one else is going to work harder to make me better than I will.

Because one day, If I work hard enough and put enough effort into making myself the best god damn human being I can be, I will be on top of the mountain. And to make it incredibly clear, I’m not climbing for you. I’m not climbing because of something you said, or something that you did – I’m climbing for me, because when push comes to shove and brass meets bone I am the only one who can truly make myself happier for being here.

I’m awesome. I know I’m awesome, and I don’t care if the rest of the world ever figures that out. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s true, and that’s all that matters.

Plus, I really enjoy the song Love is a Battlefield.

The Ass Hole Line

Skim This and then skim This

Both of these stories have something very fundamental in common – they both stem from negative human reactions.

We have a deep want and need to be negative. “People who smile all the time are annoying.” I’ve heard that more times than I can count.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a perfect example of negativity most of the time. I will not be a hypocrite and tell you that me “trying” to be positive makes me any better than anyone else. Nope, most of the time I’m as cynical and useless as the rest of the human population.

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. The creed I live my life by is “Do what you feel is right, but do not tell me how I should feel.” You want to have an abortion? You want to marry someone of the same gender or of another race? You do or do not want your children to read a book? You think your religion is the absolute answer to it all?

Fine. Take those beliefs and live by them. But the moment you look at me and tell me that I can’t act or express myself in a way that isn’t detrimental to anyone else living or dead – you have crossed the line. And you know what that line is? It’s the ass hole line.

This is very simple. If you vote against gay marriage. If you tell parents that their children can’t read a certain book because YOU think they shouldn’t. If you impress your beliefs onto someone else just because you can – You are an ass hole. If you want political correctness, practice it on your own time. As for me, I will stand by my belief that you breed hate and spread negativity because you are either too  dumb to care or too much of a pretentious prick to think other people can think for themselves.

If you don’t like it, don’t do it – otherwise, get off my fuckin’ back about it. 61% of voters in North Carolina made it clear that not liking gay people is enough reason to push their beliefs onto everyone who resides in the entire state.

That is absolutely insane, plain and simple.