They make you look like a dirty hippy while simultaneously hugging your feet with the comfort level of a puppy hug. When it rains I wear them anyways and hope for the best. I bought them for 19 dollars at an outlet mall while I was definitely supposed to be Christmas shopping for other people. I do not regret this; it is merely fact. The left moccasin becomes untied often while the right has never done so. Needless to say, I have a favorite moccasin.

Moccasins are a great way to spot pretentious in your face jerks because their faces scrunch up and their hands shrivel into their pockets when they see them. If they only knew.

They have blisters; I have a warm rainbow lower extremity embrace. I submit that my decision and not theirs is the correct one.